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Managing Our Emotions: Jealousy

When life feels unfair, jealousy can take root. Stop it from growing into something we can't take back.

作者: Under the fig tree3 分钟阅读

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Tunic of many colours

Jacob loved Joseph more than any of his other sons, and this was plain for everyone to see (Gen 37:3–4). The unfairness was real. Jacob played favourites, and Joseph’s coat of many colours was a daily reminder of it. But Joseph had done nothing evil against his brothers.

His brothers did not temper their jealousy with love for their brother. They held on to their hatred through the years, letting it take root and deepen, until they were old enough to act on it. Sibling rivalry happens. Jealousy happens - but it doesn't always end in sitting together to plot murder.

"Now when they saw him afar off, even before he came near them, they conspired against him to kill him. Then they said to one another, 'Look, this dreamer is coming! Come therefore, let us now kill him and cast him into some pit; and we shall say, Some wild beast has devoured him. We shall see what will become of his dreams!'" Genesis 37:18–20 (NKJV)

This is what happens when negative emotions are left unmanaged. Only Reuben and Judah tried to speak sense into the others. The rest had already made up their minds. 

Many of us will encounter toxic environments in school or the workplace where conversations keep drifting back to how much everyone dislikes a particular person. Maybe the boss genuinely favours a colleague, and the special treatment is real and obvious.

That may all be true, and at the root of this could be jealousy. The question is: what do we do next?

Do we gang up, the way Joseph's brothers did? Do we plot how to make the boss's favourite stumble, asking him a pointed question during his presentation just to watch him flounder, or engineering small sabotages to chip away at his standing?

When jealousy is left unchecked, we can become cold-blooded, rallying others around a person until what began as bitterness becomes exclusion, and exclusion becomes something worse.

Just because unfair treatment is real does not mean we are justified in responding with hatred.

If we find ourselves in conversations drifting towards the way of jealousy and hatred, let's get out. If we notice jealousy taking root in us, let's bring it to God and ask Him to remove it from our hearts before it causes us to sin.

Reflection questions

  1. Joseph's brothers let their jealousy grow unchecked for years. Are there long-held jealousies in your heart that you have never truly surrendered God?

  2. What would it look like to respond to unfair treatment with grace rather than jealousy?

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